11 Mar

I’m on a diet. Fuck middle age. (Sorry for the profanity, but if you are over 38 or so, you know what I mean)

My best friend Jackie and I used to post up in front of the TV after school and scarf down a bag of Doritos. Or a pile of Hershey Kisses with peanut butter strait out of the jar. Or Ice Cream by the half gallon (back in the day when a half gallon actually contained a half gallon!). Or a pile of pop tarts.  We could eat anything and still be slim size 6s.

Granted that disappeared by my 20s, but middle age has been particularly bitchy towards me as my peasant roots rear their pudgy head.

I have done Jenny Craig twice and lost a ton of weight, but if I don’t marry it with constant exercise and restrained consumption-BOOM. Back on go the pounds.

This fall, in the face of a ton of stress and a lot of death in and around my family the exercise didn’t happen and the stress eating did.  So rather than it taking 2 years to put back on lost pounds it took about 3 fricken months. Like I said, Fuck You Middle Age.

I’d settle for being pudgy and just buy new clothes, except for one fact.  Its just not a healthy weight for me. I don’t feel great. My blood pressure is back up, and I’m sure my cholesterol and other indicators are up too.  Sooooo I’m gong to diet.

This time I’m trying Weight Watchers.  So far, about 5 days in, there are several things I like:

  • Online point calculator. It’s easy to use and it lets me play with portions and ingredients to adjust points up or down depending on my daily needs.
  • Activity points. Yeee effing haw. You can exercise and see it translate into more food, and HOW MUCH more food.
  • Weekly fudge factor.  You have 49 points to play with through the week. You can eat the extra daily or you can splurge.
  • Booze. Jenny Craig strongly discourages using your daily extras for drink…not that I ever followed that prescript.  Weight Watchers however says women should generally not drink more than one alcoholic drink a day while dieting except for the occasional splurge. (Guess what I’m using some of my 49 points for??)
  • Focus on fresh food. Jenny Craig is EZ.  Pre-packaged food (much of which is very good), preset menus–E to the Z. I’ve been in the mood to cook and share meals with my family lately, so JC would actually be a crimp in my life. Weight Watchers lets me do that.
  • I like a challenge. I love to learn. Figuring out how to cook meals that make me and my family happy without killing my diet is fun for me.
  • Did I mention the Booze?

On that second to last point. Fun. It is fun. But planning a meal around the theme of Mardi Gras or a Polish lenten meal or something (I LOVE a themed meal) without the concern over calories and fat would be a lot more fun.  So I may be a bit cranky for a while. Forgive me if I randomly drop the eff bomb or curse out mother nature, middle age, and my peasant heritage on occasion.

Meanwhile I’ll probably post some of my “discoveries,” namely foods that make me happy, satisfy my inner gourmand, and don’t turn me into my grandmother, after whom I unfortunately take.  Now if I can just figure out a way to convince my boobs not to head south for my winter…


One Response to “Diet”

  1. Melissa March 11, 2011 at 6:45 pm #

    I totally f’ing agree with you Jen!! Good luck with Weight Watchers, it’s a really good plan, they recently revised it to their “points plus” system but it’s the same basic principal.
    I hate middle age…..

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